Faith Versus Worry When The Storm Blows
My husband and I have been looking to buy a house even though it is a sellers market so…not the best time. However, we really do need more space and they keep raising our rent to the point we’re almost paying a mortgage now.
So, I did what any sensible person does: I prayed to God to help us find a house and help us not to make a huge mistake that would financially sink us. Doing this — No worries.
We looked at house after house with little to no stress for me because I was praying to God and if they turned down our offers — so what? We had a place to live. We could afford to go month to month. I was so happy with my calm, my reliance that God would bring us what I asked for in His own good time.
We found a house. A beautiful house. We met the seller during our walk through and she chose us over higher offers. She chose us because she felt God meant the house for us and she wasn’t going to argue.
I had to agree with her because the house is so perfect, so beautiful and everything was going amazingly well. Our furniture is old and mismatched and falling apart. She doesn’t need her furniture and wants to leave it for us to make her move easier. I’m desperately tired of going to the laundry room and want to have a washer/dryer. She’s leaving her washer/dryer. My husband has been desperate for a work room. There is a work room in back with power and internet and a concrete floor.
So beautiful, so perfect, so easy. I was sure God had answered our prayers.
Then the hurricane hit. Satan’s hurricane of doubt swept in on loan papers sent out late at night that seemed to say we needed to find another $10,000 in cash to get this house!
We can afford this house. We can afford incidental things that could happen such as the AC unit going out though that might have to be on credit. But, we can do it.
We can NOT scrape together $10,000 (and I wasn’t sure if we were paying our realtor or the seller was so that would be another $6000 cash) in less than a month even if we did minimum credit card payments and used them exclusively while hoarding our paychecks.
It was too late at night to call anyone. It was past time for us to sleep for work. The hurricane was sweeping through us both even as I kept trying to tell myself – Trust in God. He will show you a way if this is the house He meant you to have. Just go over your options, check with the mortgage companies, check for home buyers assistance programs in the morning. Peace, be still, be calm, trust God. This is a test, this is only a test. You won’t be homeless or bereft if it doesn’t go through.
I mentally sang all the comforting hymns about trusting in God and remaining at peace while the hurricane of doubt and worry beat at me and tossed my mind about. I slept fitfully, waking up from nightmares to mentally sing myself to sleep again as I prayed for God to help me through this, to find the peace of trusting in Him.
I managed to get to work. I managed to get work done even as I had calls and emails coming in from my husband reaching out to our realtor and loan officer this morning to try to figure out what to do.
The place I work is amazing. I tried to work and I managed it except people needed answers and contracts and I had to get a lot of it done today because tomorrow is a holiday and the end of my options. I was shaky and distracted and hungry and I asked a supervisor if I could go home sick and deal with this because the stress was making me sick and shaky.
He let me come home without argument, with only concern. This is why I thank God for my job as He blessed me with a wonderful place after a truly awful place. I have personal leave hours enough to make up my time to protect me from a painful lack on my next paycheck.
So, I am working through the emails and the calls and continuing to tell myself, peace, be still as I watch God’s hand reach out through people to reassure me, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok.
I managed the faith and trust in the storms but the hurricane…I’m still standing but I’m not sure how well I did. I pray that I did better than I think, that I stood stronger than I would have a couple of months ago…but all I can do right now is pray and keep reminding myself, the storm and hurricane are under God’s control as am I. I just have to be still and trust and do what I can to answer documents and look into plans and pray for guidance. Peace, my heart, be still, do as you should then let it go into God’s hands.